* % The sunrise is simply beautiful .. #* It gets more beautiful when you're here beside me

Saturday, October 28, 2006

{An End!}

Endings are always painful. It hurts more than I am willing to let on. Opening up oneself is really not worth it. Now that it's all over and I am all alone again, I will brave things on myself. I am never ever going to open up to anyone again.

|11:51 AM|

Friday, October 20, 2006

{Touched my heart}

Through my times of needs, I can see who are the ones that are standing by me and who are my true friends that care about me. I would like to specially mention my twin, Nelson, Jenny and Josie.

Twin: Thanks a lot my dear for all your support and encouragement. Without you, my dark moments would have been even gloomier. Without you, my gals would have been in a more vulnerable state but your presence and help have made everything easier during the whole transition and now especially. Bringing Dior over has helped to cheer Muffin up a lot and Muffin is always glad to see Dior. Otherwise, she will simply sit there and sulk. Apart from the mental support, your help in getting stuff for my gals have helped to lighten the load on my ears (otherwise, hear no end to my mum's nagging)... Thanks a lot my dear. I am so honoured to have you as my best friend. I know I'll never be alone with you around. Words can't express my gratitude but I want you to know that hopefully, someday, I can repay everything that you've done for me and my gals too. You're the only person in the world that knows so much indepth about me. I will always be here for you. I love you (and not forgetting my darling god daughter, Dior)!

Nelson: Thanks a lot for taking the trouble to go over and groom my gals and I know Muffin hasn't been totally cooperative most of the time but I really appreciate you updating me about their well being and with their pics. My apologies for Muffin's naughty behaviours. Keke...

Jenny: First and foremost, thanks a lot for the beautiful scrapbook that you made for me. It's a very much treasured momento that I look at almost every night. Apart from that, I really appreciate your advise and your outlook of things have helped to broaden my horizons and allowed me to look at things from different angles. Thanks a lot my dear advisor for always been there as a listening ear. Give Candy and Jasmine a kiss for me!

Josie: Thanks a lot babe for being so encouraging and always there for me when I need someone to share my woes with. I hope that things will get better for you soon. Take good care of urself.

|3:39 PM|

Thursday, October 05, 2006

{Words Women Used!}

Plagarised this from a friend's blog... What Women Truly Means!

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

To the men: to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology! To the women: to give them a good laugh! Oh, and before we forget. "Whatever" ...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

|12:54 PM|

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

{Missing Him!}

I am confused about how I feel about him. He's the first guy I cared about that has dropped tears in front me. On Mon night, I did the most unbelievable thing. I reveal to him about how I feel about him and the worries that has been nagging at me for a while and all my concerns about us. This is usually something that I would never do. I always put up a protective shield around me when I feel for someone. I am scared of getting hurt or the pain that might come along with the sweet sweet feelings that I am having now. A normal reaction on my part would have been to back off till I have more control of how I feel but this time, I didn't. I let Fran know how I felt... ...

I am at his place most of the time. It's only been less than 10 hours since I last saw him but I am missing him already. What a weird feeling! This is a real concern. I had a great time with him yesterday. We went to La Pochetta for lunch and shopped a little bit. I met Fran's dad last night and he's a really friendly person! He's the president of the sailing club. Sounds like an interesting hobby to take up.

|5:20 PM|

Monday, October 02, 2006

{Dilemma...}

Thoughts were running through my mind at hundred miles per hour or maybe even per minute. I am in a very confused state. What should I do? How should I deal with the situation I am facing? Now that a lot of things in my life are more settled, I now have the time to slow down my pace and think about the other side of my life.

Heard from Rameena that Muffin seems smaller than ever. Here are the exact conversation we had:

Tinkerbelle+Issabelle= Mayhem says: Ok let me get to the seroius issue. Muffin is really missing you. When i saw her,i myself felt bad. Her face so small aready she is not thin but the face very small. Maia no problem, Minnie no problem.

Dilemma says: I know the two of them are ok and I know Muffin misses me heaps.

Tinkerbelle+Issabelle= Mayhem says: Maia is bigger now and she is very very friendly, like tinkerbelle.

Dilemma says: Everytime she hears my voice, she will be sad
Dilemma says: That's Maia. My mum says she will go home with anyone and adores u.

Tinkerbelle+Issabelle= Mayhem says: Yah her face really small leh. My heart just broke lah

Dilemma says:Does she looks sad?

Tinkerbelle+Issabelle= Mayhem says: Ya ya Maia was ready to pack her bags and leave

Dilemma says: U can take her. Lol... She's everyone's gal and very well toilet trained now.

Tinkerbelle+Issabelle= Mayhem says: Yah she look so sad and she jumped on the sofa and sat with me and look at me like asking me, "do you know where my mommy is "?
Tinkerbelle+Issabelle= Mayhem says: My heart really break man

Dilemma says:My heart breaks too when I see her on web cam

To cut the long story short, Muffin seems to be very miserable when I am away and has changes in her attitude. Have I done the right thing to come here? God, I miss her so much that my heart is aching.

Is letting someone go so that they can be happier always the right thing to do? What would you do if you have feelings for someone but is worried about getting hurt? What are the chances of finding true happiness? Although it's easier said than done, I wish I am more of a risk taker when it comes to affairs of the heart. Whenever I find myself getting close to someone, all I wanna do is retreat. Is that the right thing to do?

|2:35 PM|